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Self-esteem is important for everyone because it influences all our choices and decisions and affects every aspect of our lives, including our behavior and how we value ourselves.

Low self-esteem can be a problem for a number of reasons. It causes a lack of confidence and can leave you feeling defeated or depressed. People with low self-esteem often make bad choices that prevent them from living happy and fulfilling lives.

On the other hand, high self-esteem could sometimes have undesirable consequences as well. According to research, people with too high self-esteem also tend to have worse relationships and are more likely to engage in risk-taking, aggressive behaviors, and violence. Self-esteem that is too high can also be a sign of narcissistic personality disorder.

Both low self-esteem and excessively high self-esteem are equally bad. The key is to find that perfect balance somewhere in the middle. So ideally, you should try to achieve a realistic yet positive view of yourself.

But what exactly is self-esteem, and how to tell that your self-esteem needs a boost? What can you do to build healthy self-esteem? Read on to find out.

Factors that influence self-esteem

Self-esteem develops over your lifetime. It begins to form when you are a little child and is shaped by your thoughts, relationships, and experiences.

There are many factors that can influence your self-esteem, including:

  • Your inner thinking
  • Genetic factors
  • Age
  • Experiences at home, school, or work
  • Potential illness, disability, or injury
  • Role and status in society
  • How other people react to you
  • Media messages

What are the signs of healthy self-esteem?

Today, self-love and self-confidence are considered important. But you should always keep in mind that “the more, the better” isn’t always the way to go.

People with overly high self-esteem feel superior to others and overlook their own flaws. They are often arrogant and express a feeling of entitlement.

Healthy self-esteem means the perfect balance of self-appreciation and respect for others. People with healthy self-esteem can accurately assess their strengths and weaknesses and believe that they are worthwhile people. They see difficulties as challenges and don’t allow anyone to treat them badly or take advantage of them.

You probably have healthy self-esteem if you:

  • Have a positive outlook on life
  • Feel confident
  • Say what you want and feel
  • Have a balanced, accurate view of yourself
  • Love yourself as a whole person
  • Take care of yourself and look after your own needs
  • Don’t compare yourself to others
  • Don’t dwell on past negative experiences
  • Have healthy boundaries with other people
  • Say “no” to things you don’t want to do
  • Take responsibility for your actions and feelings
  • Believe you are good enough and deserve to be happy


Сalmerry. Self-Esteem Guide: Healthy vs. Low Self-Esteem. Calmerry -. Published June 27, 2022. Accessed September 15, 2023.